Zodiac Bedtime Prayers

The 12 Signs of the Zodiac are symbols for
12 different human personality types. Each
Sign has its own unique approach to life.
Just for fun, let's get a feel for their
different psychologies by making up a typical
"Bedtime Prayer" for each Sign.

ARIES (3/21-4/19):

"Dear God!
Give me PATIENCE
and I want it NOW!

TAURUS (4/20-5/20):

"God, please help me accept CHANGE
in my life,
but NOT YET."

GEMINI (5/21-6/20):

"Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...
Who are you?....
What are you?.....
Where are You?.....
How many of you ARE there?
I can't figure you out!"

CANCER (6/21--7/22):

"Dear Daddy,
I know I shouldn't depend on you so much,
but you're the only One I can count on
while my security blanket is at the cleaners."

LEO (7/23--8/22):

"Hi Pop!
I'll bet you're really proud
to have me as your kid!"

VIRGO (8/23--9/22):

"Dear God,
please make the world a better place,
and don't screw it up like you did the last time."

LIBRA (9/23--10/22):

"Dear God,
I know I should make decisions for myself.
But, on the other hand,
what do YOU think?"

SCORPIO (10/23--11/21):

"Dear God, help me forgive my enemies,
even if the creeps don't deserve it."

SAGITTARIUS (11/22--12/21):

"OH ALMIGHTY,
ALL KNOWING,
ALL-LOVING,
ALL- POWERFUL,
OMNIPRESENT,
EVERLASTING GOD,
IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE,
I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES ---
HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!"

CAPRICORN (12/22--1/19):

"Dear Father, I was going to pray,
but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself.
Thanks anyway.

AQUARIUS (1/20--2/18):

"Hi God! Some say you're a man.
Some say you're a woman.
I say we're ALL God.
So, why pray? Let's have a party!"

PISCES (2/19--3/20):

"Heavenly Father,
as I prepare to consume this last fifth of
Scotch
to drown out my pain and sorrow,
may my inebriation be for
Thy greater Honor and Glory."

~By Nolan Myers~